lovenlosses

Thought you were getting better
Just had to give it time
I waited, sat there patiently
Just looking for a sign.

Was feeling somewhat hopeful
The plan was surgery
Who knew you wouldn’t make it?
Just wasn’t meant to be.

Your color gray and ashen
Your lips were turning blue
I knew it, something had gone wrong
I was losing you.

The crash cart and the scurrying
I knew it was the end
They tried, but couldn’t save you
I begged them …. “Try again!”

I kissed you for the last time
Held your hand in mine
Told you that I loved you
Told you ….. one last time.

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Image: Google Images. You Tube.

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Image: Google Images. PngTree

Time passes by, no stopping it
The last days of the year 
Time to reflect on days gone by
The events that led us here.

Marriages ending in divorce
Births, deaths and weddings, too
Relationships not working out 
Encounters old and new. 

Re-evaluations
Retrospective views
Thinking about retirement
Or that job …. they’ve offered you.

Mistakes, regrets …. no going back
Nothing you can do
Wishful thinking, hopes and dreams
May still be plaguing you.

Holding back a vale of tears
Learning to let go
For what is just not meant to be
Recovery is slow.

Rebirth, sunrise, an open door 
A new manifestation 
Giving hope and promise to
Your dreams and imagination.

Resolutions, loyalty 
Time for a full commitment
Do your best, make a plan
You will achieve fulfillment.

Let’s welcome in the New Year
Yes, begin anew
A New Year that is filled with love
Forgiveness and gratitude.

________________________

Image: Google Images. Johnny George

You will never understand
Till you are in my shoes
Waking up, getting out of bed
Much easier for you.

It’s so hard to move my legs
For me, hard to get up
My joints and bones don’t move so well
I’m barely strong enough.

It’s lonely here all by myself
One day follows the other
I cry myself to sleep each night
Wishing I was with  your father.

Losing him, my life partner
Is a loss I can’t explain
It’s hard, I miss him so very much
So sorry that I complain.

More than fifty years together
For some that is a lifetime
We weathered many highs and lows
We were each other’s lifeline.

I sit at the kitchen table
His chair empty, he is gone
Knowing I’m next, the one to go
I know it won’t be long.

Facing your mortality
Especially at my age
Is a fate you simply can’t escape
All I can do is pray.

Hard to be dependent
The burden is on you
I’m sorry it has come to this
There’s little I can do.

But please know that I’m grateful
I thank God for you each day
I appreciate all you’ve done for me
Love you more …. than I can say.

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Image: Google Images. Freepik

Another grey and cloudy day
Temperatures in single digits
Can’t believe how cold it
It’s seriously quite frigid. 

Every day for several  months 
The construction hasn’t stopped
Drilling, scrapping, jackhammering
It really is a lot.

Watching the construction
Taking place out there each day
Digging up the water lines
Carrying pipes away. 

Can’t imagine what it must be  like 
To work out in the cold
Construction workers there each day
Lifting  small and heavy loads.

Bulldozers and dump trucks
Filled with gravel, sand and  stone
Everyday they work so hard
Must feel chilled to the bone.

Construction isn’t easy
Summer, Winter, Spring or Fall
They work out in the rain and snow
Whenever duty calls.

Can’t wait till they are finished
It really has been rough 
The noise and dust, unyielding 
It simply is too much.

__________________________

Image: Google Images. Freepik

Grief is a lonely process
A road you walk alone
Friends can give you their advice
But now  …. you’re on your own.

You feel so devastated
Paralyzed with grief
Up all night …. been crying
Unable to fall asleep.

Feeling sad, forsaken
How could this be the end?
Lost forever, never more
My lover, my best friend.

Have to find my inner strength
Have to face it everyday
Get to work, get things done
I have to find a way. 

Behind closed doors, yes I give in
Tried to keep you satisfied 
Did everything you asked of me
I did my best, I tried. 

But…. there’s no way to stop the rain
Though I wanted to
I didn’t want to say, “Goodbye”
To say, Goodbye” to you.

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Image: Google Images. The Thalidomide Trust

When I was just a little kid
I looked up to the sky
Hoping to catch… if just a glimpse 
Of Santa passing by. 

Though I was getting older
I still wanted to believe
I hung onto the magic
Wanted to remain naive.

The innocence, the wonder
Is still there within my heart
Like it was when I was young
Like it was right from the start.

I laid in bed, so cozy
Listening so intently
Hoping to hear Santa 
Leaving gifts under the tree.

A fantasy, a day dream
Visions of a wonderland
Where elves were working diligently 
Doing the very best they can.

A workshop just for dollhouses
One specifically for trains
Someone making hot chocolate
And lots of candy canes.

So many toys, so many games
A million and one requests
Santa’s busy all year round
Keeping up with his Christmas list.

A video game for Jonathan
A book for his brother, James
Some legos for the Doherty’s
And a Barbie doll for Jane. 

Lily’s into Peppa Pig
She watches the cartoon
They’ll be something just for her
Hope Santa brings it, soon.

Time to saddle up the reindeer
Time to load the sleigh with toys 
So many children waiting
All the good girls and the boys.

No need to make a written map
Now that there’s GPS
Rudolph knows just where to go
No need to second guess.

The chimney has been cleaned and swept
Left a plate of cookies, too
Santa might get hungry
Cause he has so much to do. 

Never lose the magic
As pure and white as snow
Hang on to your innocence
Don’t ever let it go.

Walked around the corner
Headed up the street
Trying to forget you
Got in too far, too deep. 

You said you were unhappy
Said this to me before
What am I supposed to do?
When you say ….. that you’re bored?

Can’t believe your timing
Holidays not far away
I bought and wrapped your presents
Bought us tickets to a play. 

What should I tell my family?
Say to my friends at work?
Dammit, you’ve been using me
I feel like such a jerk.

Met you in my 20’s
Now we’re both 35
Everything about you
Has been nothing but a lie.

Used me up, pushed me out
Took the best years of my life
Wasted time, now moved on
You know this isn’t right. 

Broke up with me two times before
Got back together again
Don’t come back, third time’s a charm
No way we can be friends.

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Image: Google Images. Dreamstime.com

“Cold as a witch’s teat”, they say
Five degrees outside
Hoping that your car will start
May need to catch a ride.

Do Uber’s pick up passengers
On a freezing day like this
Or stay home in their safe,  warm beds?
And what about their kids?

Too cold to walk to school today
Maybe the schools are closed 
Hope the pipes can take the stress
Hope they haven’t already froze.

Thank goodness for the fireplace 
Helps to keep us toasty warm
Gas fed, no need to chop some wood
Or go out in this storm.

Plan to make hot chocolate 
Spend the day beside the fire
Watch TV, pet my dog
So glad that I’m retired.

_________________________

Image: Google Images. The Brave Ski Mom

Heard me play 
At Shawn’s  cafe
Surprised to see
Her hair was gray.

Sat in the back
Ordered some wine
Came to the show
For the last time.

Years had passed
It was awhile
Still had that same
That same sweet smile. 

Was by herself
Came in alone
She got a call
On her cell phone. 

Gone before
My second set
I looked around
But, she had left.

One more song
“A Goodbye Kiss”
Her favorite one
Her last request.

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Image: Google Images.DeviantArt

Karma comes 
And karma goes
You make mistakes
Somehow she knows.

Can’t escape
She knows the truth
She knows your flaws
She’s onto you.

Apologies
Are not enough
Always there
To call your bluff

Punishment 
To fit the crime
She sees it all
No, she’s not blind.

She makes sure
You feel the pain
To the degree
You are to blame.

What you dish out
Comes back ten fold
No matter if
You’re young or old.

Years go by
She will decide
How long you suffer
She’ll make you cry.

Karma stings
And karma bites
She’s watching you
So do what’s right.

Don’t fuck around
Don’t cheat and lie
She’ll burn you good
You’ll want to die.

Best advice
Clean up your act
Don’t play around
Or she’ll be back. 

______________________

Image: Google Images. LinkedIn