I shouldn’t have to worry
Or be scared to go to school
I shouldn’t be afraid of you
Or what you’re going to do.
The anger and the evil
Is brewing deep inside
Wondering if this could be
The day that I might die.
18 years …still just a boy
Who sold that gun to you?
What government approved the sale
Knowing what that gun could do?
That kind of gun in your hands
Can shred and tear apart
The tissues, bones and organs
Including my own heart.
The clerk behind the counter
Did he question or doubt you?
Why didn’t he refuse to sell
That body armor, too?
So obvious you needed help
But, now it is too late
If only someone had said “no”
They could have changed our fate.
The money made at our expense
By the NRA
Is protected by the senators
Who know they’ll get their way.
Their status and positions
Mean more to them you see
They don’t care about the lives
Of children just like me.
My innocence, my childhood
Now covered in the blood
Shed by my friends and teachers
Can’t you see enough’s enough?
Change the laws … Ban the guns
Don’t just walk away
Stop the senseless killings
Please… you’ve got to find a way!
A powder keg about to blow
Your fuse is short …. you can’t let go
Can’t get your way …. you make a scene
You pitch a fit …. you shout and scream.
Feathers ruffled …. voices loud
Don’t know what this is all about.
Out of control …. can’t get you back
Always on guard … to pounce …. attack.
There’s no pill …. to bring you down
Before you’re done …. you’ll hit the ground.
No way to know …. what will ignite
Fuel your rage and start a fight.
Not so much fun to be around
Afraid to speak or make a sound
Everything I say or do
Sets you off and annoys you.
What can I do to make you see
You’re hurting you …. you’re hurting me?
Everyone is trying hard
To keep you calm …. right from the start.
But, stress and tension seem to find
You in distress …. most of the time
I’ll step away … away from you
There’s nothing more that I can do.
Can’t come down
If I wanted to
Can’t stop myself
From hurting you.
Out of control
Out of my mind
It always happens
I start to climb
I shake …. I shiver
I can’t let go
I start to quiver.
Like I’m possessed
I’m in a trance
Can’t stop this feeling
I know …. I can’t.
The rage ….. the fury
The force … the power
It all begins.
No rhyme or reason
I’m in the zone
Can’t weep …. can’t cry.
Won’t give in
Won’t bend … won’t bow
I’m flying high
I’m soaring now.
I can’t stop
Can’t get to me
I’m right ….. you’re wrong
High on my horse
It’s do or die.
Yes, I’m unstable
I’m off the wall
I’m full of anger
About to fall.
I need a doctor
I need some help
I can’t control
Control my self.
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I know you’re feeling overwhelmed
It seems apparent …. one can tell
When you’re bursting at the seams
You do and say … things you don’t mean.
Can’t you see…. we want to help?
Why don’t you stop the urge to yell?
The slightest comment sets you off
I know it’s not … what you were taught.
Your children stand there paralyzed
Can’t you see they’re terrified?
What kind of message are you sending?
Look at their faces… they are cringing.
Stop looking for …. someone to blame
Life’s not a contest …. or a game
Stop projecting all your fears
Why not step back …. start shifting gears?
So defensive … maybe unsure
Don’t need to be ….. so insecure
Don’t be so quick … quick to react
Put up your guard…. start to attack.
Don’t bite the hand that tries to help
You’re not alone …. not by yourself
After all that you’ve received
You push away the ones you need.
All the rage you have within
Is going to hurt you in the end
You’ll be standing all alone
Those that cared …. will all be gone.
No one can stop you … once you start
You push ahead .… you go too far
The stress won’t do you any good
Why won’t you act the way you should?
It doesn’t matter if you’re right
Sometimes it’s better not to fight
Take the high road …. let it go
Don’t let your feelings always show.
Contain your anger … get a grip
Find a lid …. to put on it
Show your strength by self control
Make staying calm … your quest, your goal.
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Spare me the drama and
Those crocodile tears
Don’t mean what they did
When I first got here.
Like in a movie
You’re playing a part
You turned on the tears
Before breaking my heart.
Nothing about you
Is honest or true
It took me awhile
But I see right through you.
You set the stage
The candles … the wine
I was enthralled
With you every time.
But, you’re an imposter
A fake ….. just a con
You’ll take what you want
And then you’ll be gone.
So many dreams
So many lives
Crushed in your wake
When you say Goodbye.
Innocence …. kindness
The challenge …. the fun
The grief and the sadness
Before you are done.
A beautiful cover
With an empty shell
A glimpse at the devil
Coming straight out of hell.
Off the leash…. running
So wild and so free
Releasing the child
The child within me.
Letting go of the anguish
Learning to fly
With my head held up high.
Giving in …. having to
Just give it up
It’s time to face it
Yes …. I’ve had enough.
Don’t ask any questions
Don’t weep …. no, don’t cry
Sometimes it gets better
When we say Goodbye.
Up in the clouds
Beyond the stars
Though it seems …. oh so far.
No time to waste
There’s fun to be had
Stop being so angry
Stop being so mad
Let it all go
Run like the wind
This is your chance
To start over again.
It’s so hard to say that I’m sorry
I know it’s too little …. too late
I’ve paid the price …. paid the Piper
I knew you weren’t destined to wait.
I’ve lived with the shame and the sorrow
I’ve regretted it all of my life
I hurt the one person who loved me
I know I was wrong …. you were right.
I wanted it all …. I was selfish
Nothing more than a petulant child
Spinning round in a circle …. going nowhere
Like a dog ….off a leash ….. running wild.
All I ask is for you to take notice
Know that I take the blame for it all
Not a day passes by without feeling
I should have humbled myself …. should have crawled.
Should have begged and asked your forgiveness
For the pain that I caused in the end
There’s no excuse for everything that I did to you
Wish that I could start over again.
For now hope that we’ve calmed the waters
Put to rest all the anger and scorn
No more feelings of rage and resentment
We’ve dealt with the worst of the storm.
In the end … seems you found what you wanted
Someone stable … someone honest and true
You found love in the midst of the chaos
Please just know ….that I’m happy for you.
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Every warning sign
Every bit of caution
Vanished ….. left behind.
No way I could say…. no to you
No way I could resist
I knew that it was over
The first time that we kissed.
The stage was set before me
Well constructed … well designed
The Wine …. Champagne …. the Caviar
The perfect play each time.
Feeling high .… intoxicated
A victim of your spell
An evil demon in disguise
Straight from the bowels of hell.
Your hair ….. your breath …the perfect scent
I was mesmerized
Gave into you….no questions asked
I’d been hypnotized.
Who knew that it would never last
Abruptly…. cast aside
You laughed when tears fell from my eyes
When I began to cry.
Another foolish victim
Came straight …. right thru the door
Unsuspecting …. pure … so naive
Looking for something more.
So welcoming …. all encompassing
You knew how to draw me in
That pretty face …. those dimpled cheeks
That cunning charming grin.
When asked to leave … no parting words
Nothing to come back to
Just a glimpse …. a memory
Of what you made me do.
A taste of lust and madness
You had come … come for my soul
You brought me to the brink of hell
So evil …. cruel and cold.
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I saw you standing at the bar
You turned and looked at me.
Who knew that we would fall in love?
Such simple chemistry.
Just a glance …. a smile …. a look
Somehow it felt so right
I wanted you to want me , too
Was this my lucky night?
The DJ played my favorite song
You reached out for my hand
You led me to the dance floor
You said …. “Come on, let’s dance”!
No second thoughts to hold me back
No need for plaguing doubts
I knew it was …. love at first sight
You stood out from the crowd.
You had it all…. such style and charm
That mesmerizing voice
Nowhere on earth I’d rather be
I knew I’d made my choice.
You whispered, “Please come home with me
Don’t want to be alone”
I felt a wave come over me
Felt chilled right to my bones.
A glass of wine by candlelight
Your stunning silhouette
My face was flushed …. I felt a thrill
Something I can’t forget.
I stayed the night
No second thoughts
Knew you were right for me
I had a night I can’t forget
No way I’d want to leave.
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