lovenlosses

I’m calling knowing you’re asleep
Don’t want to talk,  just hear you breathe
I know that I can’t be with you
There’s nothing left that I can do.  

I wear your shirt to bed each night
Pretend it’s you, though it’s not right 
The nagging pain, the grief, remorse
I blame myself, I do of course.

Another year, no word from you
Your job’s the same, your number too
Morning  walk through Central Park
So early….  it’s still damp and dark. 

I still can visualize your face, your eyes
The thought of you still makes me cry
Time hasn’t helped, my friends don’t know
No matter what, I can’t let go. 

I play it off, they think I’m fine
I don’t let on, inside I’m dying
They think I’m tough, I’m over you
Don’t know the truth , don’t have a clue. 

I miss your touch, your warm embrace
I’m feeling lost and yes erased
I met someone, but they’re not you
My heart is damaged… black and blue.

Hanging on, but you’re long gone
Nothing’s right, it feels so wrong 
Letting go…. too much for me
You don’t care, you’re done, you’re free.

I’m drowning in this shallow pond
How could you go leave, leave me behind? 
Never dreamt …. you’d go, you’d leave. 
I’m left to mourn , to pine, to grieve. 

Can’t shake it off, I’m sweltering 
Beneath this weight I’m carrying
Limerence, that feeling of ….
A sense of what ….. I thought was love. 

____________________________

GOOGLE IMAGES. Robert Plant and Alison Krauss.

On the dance floor
You moved closer
Kissed me slowly
It was over.

I had fallen
Was spellbound
Took me home
Hard to calm down.

My heart was racing
My mind swimming
That was only 
The very  beginning. 

I moved in
Became your lover
Couldn’t get 
More of each other. 

In the shower
On the floor
In the kitchen
Against the door. 

Nothing held back
I gave in
Nothing questioned
Yes, I sinned. 

Until you lost 
That loving feeling
Right out of nowhere
Down from the ceiling. 

I was broken
You had to go
Someone was waiting
I didn’t know. 

I walked in circles
Not months, but years
Nothing now
Was ever clear. 

Gave it my all
But, not enough
You never wanted
What I call …. love. 

In disguise
Not someone real
You wanted flesh
To touch, to feel. 

Not meaningful
No depth or soul
You took it all
Till you were full.

My tears, a weakness 
Feelings, a crutch
I had to face it
There was no “us”. 

___________________

Google Images: Techno Airlines.

__________

Poison from a labeled vial
I swallowed, yes and then I smiled
Nothing that I wouldn’t  do
To prove my love, my love for you. 

Another test, another hoop
Another game to play with you
A risk to take, a mountain high
I’ll do my best  to reach the sky.

Battles won, wounds to mend
Pain so deep …. beneath my skin
Broken bones, limb to limb
I’d do it all, do it again. 

A river wide, the middle deep
Though I was tired, I couldn’t sleep
The mud, the weeds … along the shore
Left me wishing there was more.

Once depleted, I hit the wall 
I took the chance, answered  the call
Walked miles and miles on rough terrain
But, never once did I complain. 

The damage done, I slipped, I fell
Into the current, into the swell
The waves  intense , I lost control 
The water deep, so fierce, so cold. 

My chest was crushed, my spine now severed
No way they could put me together
The pain intense, I softly moaned
Felt like my head was made of stone.

I laid there helpless, I couldn’t move
Nothing more that I could do
The birds now circling overhead
Knowing full well, soon I’d be dead. 

I didn’t cry, I didn’t beg
You didn’t stay, you walked away
Someone new …. took the baton
I closed my eyes and you were gone. 

_____________________

Google Images. Pngtree.

Where is that person that I knew
The one that looked a lot like you?
A cloud of smoke, left in her place
Confused, ignored, removed, erased. 

In the dark, so vulnerable
Feelings now unbearable 
Can’t get back, my pride, my soul
The promises, packed up and sold.

Left no clues, no looking back
Reminds me of the things I lack
Contorted , twisted …. inside and out
Nothing left but fear and doubt. 

Somewhere deep,  deep down inside
I must have known, it was a lie
 Now  a stranger, a mere thief
Someone so distant, beyond belief. 

What happened to … the two of us
The way we were , the way it was?
All it took was just one look
I swallowed whole ….the bait, the hook.

Hard to accept, we were so close
Now just a dream, a phantom ghost
Did I imagine you were real 
Is this the way love ends, for real?

A cloud of smoke …. dark and gray
All consuming, swept away
The embers weakened, soon to fade
Nothing left to try and save.

_______________________

Google Images. Discogs.

These last remaining moments 
May be months or may be years
The pain that’s felt by others 
Makes me sad, brings me to tears. 

We take it all for granted
The sunlight, the clouds, the rain
Every breath we get to take in
Without feeling endless pain.

So many riddled with disease 
The grim reaper at their door
Wanting to be free of pain
Can’t take it anymore. 

The constant nagging struggles 
The worry and the fear
One step away from ruin
The end always, so near.

Never enough money
The hardships and the strain 
Watching others free of stress
Still others live with shame. 

Some anguish … facing the next test
Some breeze right on by
I can’t help but wonder
I keep asking myself why. 

Those trapped inside the towers
No way out, makes me insane
Can’t stop thinking about them 
And still,  we sit here and complain. 

The fear, the terror of that day
Permeates my mind
The tragedies of war, the grief
Who knows who’s next in line?

Earthquakes, shootings , floods and fires
The innocent to suffer
Evil lurks at every turn
Soon to be uncovered. 

The loss of limbs, the shock, the fear
Unsuspecting tragic ends
Why are the meek and innocent
Tortured over and over again?

Can’t abandon hope, or true belief
The  gates of heaven up above
Hold fast to those around you
 Those you cherish, those you love. 

Imagine all God’s children 
Free of pain, their limbs restored
No anguish, fear or misery
That’s what heaven is and more. 

___________________________

Google Images. Watermarkwaves.

When you had met someone new
My life came to an end
No way I’d ever be the same
No never, never again. 

Told me you’d always love me
Thought we could still be friends 
Said , “it doesn’t have to  be this way
It doesn’t have to end”. 

I held my breath, counted to ten
No way we could be friends
You had left me, no looking back
Left me ….. to be with him!

Believed you were my soul mate 
But you wanted someone else
I was nothing but,  a broken toy
You’d left sitting on your shelf. 

Dance clubs, cocktails , out and about
No excuses or alibis
After work, you’d go out
While  I sat at home and cried. 

Greener grass,  something new 
One of a kind, that would be you
Always looking, on the prowl
So quick to quit, throw in the towel. 

Something better, beyond belief
Someone much better, better than me
Money matters, status, and fame
By now you’ve forgotten, forgotten my name.

________________________

Google Images: Parenting with scripture.

Another scorching weekend
No picnics or barbecues
Too hot to sit out in the sun
When the temperatures’s 102.

The sweat runs down my forehead
The pool water’s boiling hot
My skin is turning lobster red
Going in, ready or not!

Let’s go eat some hotdogs
We can cook them on the stove
Baked beans with some potato chips
Go great with fresh, baked rolls. 

The water in the swimming pool
It’s too hot, too hot to swim
We’ll have to go down to the park
To use the indoor gym. 

The A /C is a blessing 
When the temperature’s too high
I could feel my skin begin to boil 
While my hair began to fry. 

We’ll play board games at the table
Dominoes and Scrabble , too
Rumi Cube and card games
Just to name a few. 

We can watch our favorite movies 
 You can play your video games
Hang out and spend some quality time
Before going out again.

Let’s wait till the sun goes down
In the evening after six
The temperature more tolerable then
For us adults and little kids. 

________________________

Google images. GIPHY.

They tell me not to call you
No contact, it’s for the best
Hold back, restrain, wait it out
But,  it’s clear you could care less. 

Alone to face this heartache
The depth of pain beyond belief
You chose to be with someone else 
Someone you’d rather have, than me. 

I told you every secret
Gave you my soul to keep
Thought what we had … was magical 
It was, it was for me. 

Too quick to trust, to value
A love that wasn’t there
In the end, a mere placeholder
To get from here to there. 

A stepping stone, a respite
Not permanent, who knew?
I built my world around you
Now, I don’t know what to do. 

Hearts scattered along the roadway
Too many to collect
One day, you’ll find the one you want
The one you will select. 

Not for love, I’m sure of that 
But, for their portfolio 
Money reigns , top of your list
That much I surly know. 

A certain polished lifestyle
Trips abroad, a lovely home
A garden to be proud of 
And, a house made out of stone. 

________________________

Google Images. Witt Law Group.

Her hair and her eyes 
Look incredibly real
She walks and she talks
But, unable to feel. 

Her skin like velvet 
Soft to the touch
What does she cost?
Tell me …. how much?

She blinks, she moves
She smiles, she grins
She looks almost human
Feels like we are friends.

She cooks, she cleans
She’s great in bed
She’ll rub your back
Then rub your head. 

She does whatever 
You want her to do
Her purpose for being
Is to be there for you. 

She’s conditioned and programmed
To tell you the truth
And, will always be there
To take care of you. 

You can make changes
You’ll have total control
She’s willing and able
And, will never grow old. 

Her IQ ….. above average
She’s fully equipped
Her knowledge …. abundant
She’s smart as a whip.

They’ll be codes to decipher
Wires to adjust
A  ton of new features 
And, she will never rust.

She’ll come  in a box
Her body intact
To activate her neurons
There’s a switch there, on her back. 

If for any reason.
You can deactivate
Turn her off, shut her down
Don’t hold back, or hesitate.

You don’t have to give a reason
To receive a full refund
They’ll put her back … into her crate
Take her back, where she came from.

But, if you’re truly satisfied
All you’ll have to do
Is sign the appropriate documents
Then she’ll belong to you.

____________________

Google Images:Phys. Org

Six blocks away, too close  for comfort
It started to rain, I could hear the thunder
Out for a walk, he’ll  be stopping for coffee
If I walked in, do you think he’d ignore me? 

Uh, oh …there she is with her long, flowing hair 
Uh, oh ….  I can see through the window, ….. she’s there
A small piece of cake, one fork meant to share
Why did this happen?  You know, it’s not fair. 

A smile and a kiss, like we used to do
They sat at a table , that had seating for two
I left , headed home … didn’t want to be seen
She belonged on the cover of TEEN magazine. 

They moved in too soon, our sheets were still warm
Spent weekends  upstate, heard she owned a small farm
The kind of girl …. who’ll ride bareback at night
Out on the beach, underneath the moonlight.

The perfect girl, I have to  admit
It looks like he’s  happy, he’s all over this
Coffee black, green tea, and no milk
Her skin is so fair,  looks as soft as pure silk.

Walking back home, I was feeling  rejected
Stalking him ….Yes, I know it’s  pathetic
She’s a partner, a lawyer ….. has  an office uptown
Keeps her Jag safely parked …. out of sight,  underground.

She’s got everything that he  could possibly want
Beauty and brains…. and of course , she is young
Time to let go , time to move on
Time to accept …. that it’s over, he’s gone. 

_____________________

Google Images: Jerry’s Artarama.