lovenlosses

I said that I’m sorry
But words on deaf ears
Really don’t matter
After all of these years.

I hurt you, I know it
I can’t explain
The heartache , the sorrow
I know …. I’m to blame.

To say that I loved you
Sounds like a lie
Cause if I did
Why  say goodbye?

Careless and selfish
So damn immature
You were so steadfast
Always so sure.

But I was a player
I was such a fool
I should have tried harder
Should’a stayed there with you.

I’m paying the price
Everyday ….. all the time
I live with regret
You’ll never be mine.

You severed the ties
I deserve it, I know
It’s my fault for leaving
For letting you go.

__________________________

Photo from Google Images: santiagomenghini.com

Plagued, consumed, bombarded
Can’t seem to find a way
Your memory lives on and on
Though you are light years from today. 

You’d never take the time
No thoughts of what we had
You don’t spend a millisecond
Ever feeling bad. 

One of the beautiful people
The world is at your feet
Always get what you want
Or take from those you meet.

Lust… the primal secret
A pathway into one’s soul
Someone pays a hefty price
When one’s heart is bought or sold.

Like it never happened 
Thoughts easily erased
On to bigger and better things
Another pretty face.

_______________________

Photo from Google Images: seekpng.com

You string me along
Like Mardi Gras beads
Tossed in the air 
Blown in the breeze.

No regard or respect
No love or concern
Everyday is the same 
The crash and the burn.

No one to blame
I relinquished control
Played into your hands
I gave you my soul.

The nights in your bed
The shame that I felt
You made me beg
At your feet … while I knelt.

No sense of self worth
No pity on me
Why wouldn’t I want
Or demand to be free?

A date with the devil
I should have known
You were so callous 
Cold to the bone.

____________________

Photo from Google Images: dreamstime.com

I waited all night
For you to come home
I sat in the bedroom
I waited alone.

I watched the time pass 
Thinking of you 
Imagining you with her 
What else could I do?

I’d try to say something
Say something new
Something to shake you 
To get through to you. 

But when you walked in
It was the same as before
I heard your footsteps
Heard you close the door.

Told me you worked late
But that was a lie
I didn’t believe you
I started to cry.

I could smell her perfume
Your hair looked a mess
Must have left in a hurry
Didn’t take time to dress.

Your tie in your pocket
Your shirt wrinkled but clean
I could only imagine
With what little I’d seen.

Said you were sorry
But you’d fallen for her
After hearing those words
It was all just a blurr!

I dropped to my knees
My world torn apart
I meant nothing to you
You shattered my heart.

I can’t be there 
When you pack up your stuff
It’s too hard to accept 
That I wasn’t enough.

_________________________

Photo from Google Images: superprof.us

Carved out of stone
Heart ….cold as ice
Overcome with elation
No time to think twice.

A once in a lifetime
The thrill of it all
Brought to the edge
Just waiting to fall.

Head over heels
Consumed, mesmerized 
Fully engaged 
All at once paralyzed.

Dazzled, delighted 
Beyond my control
Surrendered my spirit
My body, my soul.

____________________

Photo from Google Images: wallpapersafari.com

She pulled into the driveway
In her old blue pick up truck
She seldom made it over here
Out of gas or out of luck.

Just got a brand new battery
A new muffler and new tail lights
No matter what she tried to do
That old clunker never ran right.

Her dad died two years ago
Her mom ten years before
All she had was that old truck
Painted blue with one green door.

The farmhouse where she lived herself
Was five miles down the road
She managed to run a diary farm
How she did it … no one knows.

No husband, friend or roommate
She managed on her own
She worked all day … till it got dark
Lived by herself … there all alone.

A pretty girl, with long blonde hair
Her eyes an emerald green
Always wore a flannel shirt
Her boots and dirty jeans.

She wasn’t here for very long
Was heading into town
Wondered if I’d seen the vet
Or… if he’d been around.

Doc Bradley spent a lot of time
Down at the dairy farm
He recently fell off his horse
Heard he broke his arm.

Said she baked an apple pie
In case he did stop by
It was obvious to most of us
That he had caught her eye.

They seemed to be compatible
He was handsome and quite strong
She needed someone there with her
Now that her dad was gone.

They married and seemed happy
They had three kids and a dog
Heard they got six goats and geese
A pony and a hog.

She still drives her old blue truck
Back and forth to town
It takes her where she wants to go
All she needs …. to get around.

______________________

Photo from Google Images: pinterest.com

Now that it’s finally over
Now that you have moved on
I have to get used to this feeling
I have to face it …. you’re gone.

Can’t find the strength to keep going
Lying here….alone  on the floor
Hard to find a good reason
A reason to try anymore.

All of those nights at your mercy
Believing the things that you said
Wanting to be what you wanted 
Wanting to be in your bed.

Stripped down… exposed, unprotected
I gave everything I had … to you
Hearing you never really loved me
Hard to accept …. hard facing the truth.

Out of my mind, barely conscious
Is this all …. just a dream?
Is that you …. standing there in the distance?
Is anything at all….. what it seems?

Come back….I left the door open
It’s closed, but it isn’t locked
Don’t leave me here bludgeoned and battered
I’m bleeding out…. sadly in shock.

My heart now shattered…. in pieces
Scattered about…. everywhere
I’m feeling so broken …. now crippled
Unable to move … I don’t dare.

________________________

Photo from Google Images: wallpapaerflare.com

I saw her in the distance 
She stumbled, then she fell
Once I got up to her
I could see she wasn’t well.

She had walked the beach for hours
In the dark, there in the sand
I could tell she was exhausted
She looked weathered …. she was tan.

I  offered her some water
She drank a little bit 
Hard for her to swallow
She took a few small sips.

I held her  in the moonlight
There beneath the stars
On the shoreline …. she and I
Rested in the dark.

________________________

Photo by Angela Galardi.

Never seeing you again
So hard to understand
Reaching out, but you’re not there
Not there to hold my hand.

The last words you said to me
Still ringing  in my ears
All that’s left ….since all that time
The days turned into years.

The plans, the hopes, the dreams…they’re gone
Crumbled before my eyes
I’ll never know …. what went wrong
I’ll always wonder why.

The permanence,  the finality
Acceptance , the remedy 
The truth so very painful
And …. oh so difficult  for me.

____________________

Photo from Google Images: womenworking.com

You know that I’m … not what you want
For me it’s better ….that you’re gone
Why you calling … why  you texting?
What’s with all this second guessing?

What am I supposed to do? 
I’m trying to get over you?
Every time you use your phone,
Don’t call me up, I  won’t be home.

Kick the habit …. make the break
Let me go … for heaven’s sake
Don’t make it hard …. I’m  trying to
Trying to get over you.

Don’t pull me in …push me away
You don’t want …. or plan to stay
No way that we can just be friends
Don’t try to start things up again. 

Moving on …. get going please 
Don’t tell me that you’re  needing me
Don’t look at me the way you do
I’m trying to get over you.

_____________________________

Photo from Google Images: wallpapermaiden.com