lovenlosses

Frantic, holding onto
A branch about to break
Someone please reach out to me
Help me, for goodness sake.

I’m drowning in this river
Overcome by sweat and tears
I feel lost, hurt and abandoned
Please don’t leave me, standing here.

Stay with me, I am frightened
I don’t want to be alone
Please sit with me for just awhile
Before you head back home.

So well insulated
Till he walked through my door
He brought me down to my knees
Left me weak and wanting more.

Without warning he walked out
No note or explanation
Just an empty dresser drawer
No second thoughts, no hesitation.

Left his keys there on the table
Left me with a broken heart
My life is now in shambles
My world’s been torn apart.

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The highlight of my day
A trip to the candy store
Red licorice, malt balls
Three jaw breakers, or four.

A candy beaded necklace
Soft taffy and jujubes
A small brown bag filled to the top
With everything I’d need.

Wooden slats, a ladder to
Our clubhouse in the trees
Made from boards from the lumber yard
Paid for by raking leaves.

We’d climb straight up, crawl inside
Pass thru a makeshift door
We’d play games, trade baseball cards
Till it was half past four.

By five o’clock, it got dark
The street lights would come on
We’d climb down, get on our bikes
It was time to head on home.

A simpler time of innocence
Who knew it would all change
My kids sit with their laptops, now
All they play are video games.

No “1, 2, 3….Red light”
No outside “Hide n Seek”
No forts, skate keys or treehouses
A computer is all they need.

No backyard shows, no sandboxes
“Trick or Treating’s” obsolete
The candy’s given out at parties, now
Not by neighbors down the street.

There are shooting drills in classrooms
Children have to be prepared
Everything has changed so much
There are reasons to be scared.

A simpler time of innocence
When we were very young
Seems we had it better then
Seems life was much more fun.

So much pressure to achieve
To climb up to the top
Everyone pushing and clamoring, now
Wish we could make it stop.

Turn back the clocks, go back in time
When our days were sweet and innocent
A gentler time, filled with laughter and joy
When things were oh so different.

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“So sorry for your loss”
Those words ring in my ears
Nothing can be said
To ever stop the tears.

No one will ever know
The pain you felt inside
The emptiness, the sadness
The need to say, “goodbye”.

Your family looks for answers
Trying hard to understand
Was there something I could do
To thwart your final plan?

The heartache and deep sadness
The relentless hurt and shame
The burden of the pain you felt
The unyielding sense of blame.

There was no explanation
From the outside looking in
You seemed to have it all
Why did it have to end?

The missing puzzle pieces
The answers we’ll never know
Will plague me in the dark of night
Why did you have to go?

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Brush it off
Don’t let it stick
Don’t consider
Consider it.

Crude remarks
Sad, not true
Only will
Upset you.

Some folks unkind
Despite a smile
Loaded with
Such hate and guile.

Let it roll
Roll off your back
Don’t respond
When they attack.

Harsh and cold
Consumed with greed
Not worth your time
Not what you need.

Walk away
With head held high
Don’t succumb
Don’t sit and cry.

Know the source
Don’t validate
Give them cause
To congregate.

Birds of a feather
Often found
In groups and crowds
Will pull you down.

Not to worry
Just walk away
Don’t listen to
The things they say.

Just… brush it off
Don’t let it stick
Don’t make so much
So much of it.

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Feelings of depression
Consume my empty soul
No one knows the sense of loss
My life… a dark, black hole.

A painted face of smiles and grins
I force upon myself
Inside I’m crying, feeling lost
No one close enough to help.

Though showered with affection
I can’t seem to fill the void
The voices that dare speak to me
Cannot drown out the noise.

Day to day, I wander
Aimlessly, so lost
Incapable of coping
Life comes at such a cost.

I struggle, so uncertain
My demons won’t let go
The doubt and shame that lingers
No one will ever know.

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Why did you have to lie?
You made me believe
You said those words out loud
Made promises to me.

I gave you all I had
I compromised my soul
I followed you to hell and back
Believed what I was told.

You grew bored so quickly
I was not enough
I thought that we had everything
That we were so in love.

So foolish, and so trusting
You left me high and dry
I sit here crying senselessly
You left, you said… goodbye.

No second thoughts, no chances
It was over, no regrets
When you decide that you’re done
So easily you’ll forget.

The promises, the plans we made
You said it was forever
How many have you told that to
When you’re alone together?

Confused by lust and passion
Mesmerized and charmed
I followed you so willingly
No need to twist my arm.

A method to your madness
A well executed plan
Has left me broken-hearted
Guess I’ll never understand.

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I took off my shoes and jacket
Felt the sand beneath my feet
Walked about a mile due south
The sights beyond belief.

The seagulls flying overhead
The boats not far from shore
The waves against the sandy beach
The quiet, peaceful roar.

The salty mist, the ocean air
The sun setting in the distance
A picture perfect evening
I close my eyes, I try and listen.

The bell sounds from the lighthouse
Every evening at this time
The familiar chant now echoes
It’s song, a gentle rhyme.

The light blinking on the buoy
Channel markers lead the way
The sailors chart and navigate
Their boats into the bay.

The lobster and the shrimp boats
Make ready, leave at dawn
By 5 a.m. they’re on their way
Their days are hard and long.

The wind picks up, time to go
The rain is coming soon
I make my way up the hill
Just passed the sandy dunes.

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