lovenlosses

I did my best, was not enough
I tried so hard, but you gave up
Little left  to be said
Cut myself….I bled and bled.

No magic potion,  no recipe
No formula, to make you see
The feeling’s gone, can’t get it back 
Something’s wrong, we got off track.

Salty tears, broken heart
Shattered dreams, now we’re apart
Don’t wake me up, I’m in the  dark
Can’t start a fire without a spark. 

I let you go, the feelings gone
Don’t know just when, it all went wrong
You needed more, you always did
I tried my best, I did commit. 

Some days were good, some days were rough
When it was good, it was enough
I wanted more, you wanted less
Got tired of being second best.

A taste of heaven, a glimpse at hell
You truly were a hard, tough sell
Made up your mind , laid out your cards
Breaking up…. was fucking hard. 

A stepping stone, along the way
Should’a known you’d never stay
Hard to know when it would end
No longer lovers, no longer friends. 

_______________________

Image: Google Images. Psychology Today.

Christmas bells and ribbons
Snow blanketing the ground
There is quiet, there is silence
In this sleepy, country town.

Breakfast in the morning
Scrambled eggs and pancakes, too
A cup of the best coffee
Piping hot …. made just for you.

Put on your hat and mittens
Your jacket and your boots
Heading into town
There is quite a lot to do. 

A Christmas globe for Nana
A scarf for Papa , too
Some insulated thermals
And a pair of brand new shoes. 

A slow and steady morning
It gets busy later on
Hope to get an early start
We won’t be gone that long.

Everything is so expensive
Hard to find the perfect gift
Let’s go to the Thrift Store
I’ll find something there,….that fits. 

Carolers on Main Street
They say it’s going to snow
Santa Claus is coming
I hear him, “HO HO HO!”

Cups of warm, steaming, hot chocolate
They  give it out for free 
At a booth near the corner
Just beside the Christmas tree.

The lights and  shiny tinsel
That sparkles in the sun
Christmas is upon us
The festivities have begun. 

________________________

Image: Google Images. Adobe Stock.

Finished loading up the dishwasher
Oh what an awful mess!
The roasting pan’s now soaking
Need to change out of this dress.

Gave out all the leftovers
Made each one a plate
Said goodbye…. at the door
Made sure they closed the gate.

The punch bowl … now is empty
The deviled eggs …. all gone
We filled the gravy boat six times
Someone finished up the corn.

The pasta appetizer
Got us off to a great start
A glass of wine with dinner
Supposed to be … good for your heart.

Pumpkin flavored cheesecake
A chocolate pudding pie
My cousin made the cookies
A loaf of bread… white and a rye.

Goat cheese, figs, and olives
Apple slices served with Brie
Crackers with some cheddar cheese
I saved some just for me. 

Such a grand Thanksgiving feast
With turkey, beans and ham
Next year I’ll start much earlier
That is…. if I still can.

Family and friends getting together
A prayer of gratitude
Blessings round the table
All I thought about was you. 

Followed your traditions
All your recipes were used
Thought about you all the while
I felt so close to you.

The best mom there could ever be
I know that you’re right here
I feel your spirit in this room
That’s how I  know you’re  near.

Can’t escape my past
It’s a tail that is attached
Follows every where I go 
I’m always  looking back.

An unwelcome guest, my shadow
I want to be set free
Don’t want to be reminded
Of the way I used to be. 

It’s been years, two centuries
You’d think they would forget
But, when we see each other
It’s as bad … as it can get.

References, reminders, 
They just won’t let it go
Exposing all my past mistakes
Letting everybody know.

Could get a job on Main Street
At the local country store
But, the snickers and the comments
Might begin just like before.

I’m asking for forgiveness
I need a fresh, clean slate
I’ll do my best to make things right
Don’t think that it’s too late.

Hanging on to anger
Seeking vengeance and revenge
Won’t change a single thing I did
Why bring it up again? 

Is it simply paranoia
Imagined whispers, snide remarks?
Can I relax,  start over?
Let’s put down our shields and swords.

Want to pay my bills on time
Yes, I need to be employed
Gotta get a decent job
I am feeling so annoyed.

Stop bullying, harassing
I am sorry …. can’t you see?
I’ve been broken … cast aside
A lot has happened ….. look at me. 

Let it go, you won’t regret it
I am a different man
If you take the time…. you’ll see
And, begin to understand.

______________________

Image: Google Images. Mystic Moose

The day before the holiday
Tying up loose ends
Need to get to Trader Joe’s
There’s no one else to send.

The house needs a good dusting
So much cooking left to do
Hope you’re  coming  early
Gonna need some help from you. 

Should enjoy the preparation
It should be half of the fun
But, I need to stop and rest a bit
So much left to be done. 

Two lists … one for the dinner
Another for desserts
I need to find an outfit
I’ll need to iron my shirt. 

Will be good to see the family
And friends I love the most
My brother in law, a poet
Will be  first to make a toast.

Some relatives are aging
Never know what lies ahead 
Bury all the hatchets 
Forget the things you said. 

Let’s all be joined together
I’ll say the dinner prayer
Blessing all my  loved ones
Making sure they know I care. 

A feast unlike no other
Turkey , stuffing, pumpkin pie
The time will fly and before long
We’ll be saying… good night, goodbye.

Leftovers, hugs and kisses
Don’t forget…Christmas is next
Can’t wait to see you all again
Love entertaining guests.

So thankful for this holiday
A day of gratitude
Going to make the most of it
It will be over soon. 

___________________________

Image: Google Images. nSunnex Lights

Holiday time
So much to do
Pick up the groceries
Buy some new shoes. 

Clean up the house
Put out the good china
The leaf’s in the table 
Could’a gone to a diner.

The turkey is cooking
I made Grandma’s stuffing
Fresh cranberry sauce 
And the pumpkin nut muffins.

The potatoes are ready
Time to start mashing
There’s gravy to make
So much is still happening.

Made deviled eggs
A cheese ball with crackers
Stuffed mushrooms and olives
Served on festive platters. 

I’m here all alone
Everyone’s late
My sister stopped off
To pick up  a cake. 

In from the city
My daughter will be
Here in a moment
I know she’ll help me.

Turkey for twenty
Quite a big crowd
My cousin can’t hear
He’ll be talking so loud. 

The tablecloth’s faded
Belonged to my mother
It won’t be the same
If I use another.

Missing my mom
My father and you
So many have passed
I think of them, too.

A prayer at the table
A glass of red wine
So thankful for family
At holiday time. 

___________________________

Image: Google Images. Pinterest.

I fell so hard…. crushed every bone
The pain too much to bear
Hearing it was over now
Was ringing in my ears.

Learning this was now the end
That there was someone else
Left me feeling so betrayed
No one knows… just how I felt.

Flailing, desperate, so confused
You turned your back on me
Nothing I could do or say
You wanted to be free.

Words spoken in slow motion
Couldn’t look me in the eye
Told me you needed me to go
No point in asking why.

Gave you all I had to give
Felt ashamed, played back the tapes
Promises made …. meant nothing now
Sadly, it was too late.

A stepping stone, a refuge
I was a stop along your way
I offered you all I had to give
I gave it all away.

Believed you were my soulmate
A love shared … right to the end
Now I hope I’ll never see you
See you in this life, again.

Don’t come to me in dreams at night
I’m feeling so disgraced
Don’t want to have to talk to you
Don’t want to see your face.

My dignity gone, can’t get it back
Can’t believe what I did for you
I ‘m now left with guilt and shame
And, there’s nothing I can do.

Crushed, eviscerated
Left alone to lick my wounds
Left in the dark , now by myself
Hope to feel much better soon.

__________________________

Image: Google Images. ArtPal

It’s too soon
I need more time
To spend with those
Grandkids of mine.  

Another song
A cup of juice
A kiss, a bandaid
More “ I love you’s. “

The recipes
The quilted blankets
Our talks of heaven
The stars, the planets. 

Walks in the park
Watching them play
Their cheerful smiles
That make my day. 

Please can’t I stay
Another year?
They’ll be so sad
If I’m not here. 

I’ll do my best
To live my life
The best I can
Be a good wife.

Please Dear God
Give me more time
Can’t you move
My place in line?

Come back for me
Just one more year
To watch them grow
To wipe their tears.

_____________________________

Image: Google Images. MyBCTeam

Corporate tax and tariffs
Vendettas off the wall
Anger, rage and hatred
And, there’s no one to call.

Poor judgement, miscalculations
Promises, purely threats
Focused on corporations
In the end…. there’s nothing left. 

The sheep will blindly follow
Little knowledge of world events
The majority in the government
Taken over by extremists.

Low information voters 
Can’t see the larger picture
All they know is their grocery bill
Has gotten somewhat bigger. 

They don’t know the major players
The Constitution or Rule of Law
They back the cruel and hateful
Wanting them to build the wall.

Bitterness and opposition
Celebrating open defiance
Their anger misdirected
No regard for meds or Science.

Promoting fear of vaccinations
Denying Climate Change
Rooting for the insurrectionists 
For them…. this is a game.

Our country, slowly in decline
Our rights in jeopardy
If he gets to have his way
We’ll see the end of democracy.

_____________________________

Image: Google Images.illustAC

What in the world was wrong with me?
Gave you the upper hand
Slowly I could feel the pull
I landed in quicksand. 

Not enough, I told myself
Though I loved you…. heart and soul
How could I let the likes of you
Lead me down a rabbit hole?

No chance in hell…the outcome
After weeks turned into years
I wasted time…invested in
My lonliness, my fear. 

Out of sight, out of mind
What was I thinking of?
Should have used my spidey sense
To know this wasn’t  love. 

Obsessed, needy and craving
Delusional, confused
Everyone could see that I 
Was definitely being used.

Thought that I had found the one
The one who really cared
Never thought you’d walk away
Now I’m alone and scared.

A love to last a lifetime
Just wasn’t meant to be
Up to my neck in quicksand
Need someone to rescue me.

___________________________

Image: Google Images. istock.