lovenlosses

Wish I never met you
Can’t shake the thought of you
Gotta find some answers
Figure out just what to do.

Your voice, that look, that devilish grin
They haunt me all day long
I have to face the bitter truth
It’s over…now you’re gone.

To think of you with someone else
Is making me insane
But when we were together
All I felt was hurt and shame.

Does she know about me?
What secrets have you shared?
All the things I told you
When I thought that you still cared.

Damaged and heartbroken
I should have seen the signs
But I was tricked and blinded
By the candlelight and wine.

Those clever night maneuvers
You’ve played this game before
You knew what you were doing
Kept me crying out for more.

Wish I never met you
I‘m seething with regret
The constant nagging memories
Still linger in my head.

All I ever wanted
Now my deepest, darkest sin.
Foolishly I fell for you
I let the devil in.

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Thought you loved me, thought you cared
So hard to be alone… I’m scared
Nothing more that I can do
I’m lost, so lonely…without you.

Trusted you, I didn’t see
You said you were in love with me
Never thought you’d go, you’d leave.
Now left with sorrow, pain and grief.

Clearly you are on my mind
Even after all this time
Foolishly I fantasize
I sit alone, I weep, I cry.

Thought you’d always be with me
Forever after…. faithfully
Can’t believe I was so wrong
Can’t believe that you are gone.

Out of sight, out of mind
Turned your back, left me behind
Walked away so easily
Thought that you’d come back for me.

Said you loved me, said you cared
Now alone, I feel so scared
Nothing more that I can do
I’m lost, so lonely…without you.

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.
That first look into your eyes
Left me feeling mesmerized.
Being there …till after two
So intense… so into you.

A lightning bolt came thundering thru
The night I fell in love with you.
1,000 volts of fire and ice
It felt so good, it felt so right.

I held on tight, I stayed the night
Then there it was…. the morning light.
I felt you move, you touched my face
I felt the warmth of your embrace.

That first night alone with you
Being there … till after two
A memory, I’ll always treasure
That first night …we spent together.

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A powder keg about to blow
The ambers flare, they surge and glow
Tempers high, can’t help yourself
You won’t reach out, you won’t get help

A fog of instability
Overcome with cold hostility
Feelings of irrelevance
A constant vile accelerant.

High on booze or alcohol
You stagger in, you trip and fall
A toxic mess there on the floor
I just can’t take this anymore.

Wasting words, I’m begging…PLEASE
Have brought me down, down on my knees
Imploring you… to see someone
Get you to stop… this need to run.

The love, the hate…. you feel for me
Consumes us both, incessantly
Persistent rage, always the same
This hopeless path, this needless shame.

Let’s try and stop the nagging pain
Eliminate the need to blame
You’ve got to know I care… I do
I’m desperate …to get through to you.

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Photo from Google Images: 123rf.com

The ball’s set in motion
It’s out  of your hands
The train’s left the station
You’ve done all you can.

Step back from the table
Relinquish, concede
There’s more to consider
To want or to need.

Be grateful, be happy
It could have been worse
It could’a been you
Who’s blamed or is cursed.

So much misfortune
The shame of it all
Unsteady, unbalanced
With no one to call.

Easily cornered
Baffled, alone
No one to turn to
There’s no one at home.

Mundane and idle
Without hope or desire
Standing in place
Neither loved  or admired.

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They put me in handcuffs
They walked me outside
We both know what happened
We both know you lied.

Don’t stand in the doorway
With that shit eating grin
We’ve been down this driveway
Again and again.

Wading through promises
Both empty and cold
How many times
Have you cheated or stole?

Not one for theatrics
The drama, the scene
The final 3rd act
A nightmare, a dream.

Don’t pull down the curtain
To cover my eyes
No way you can frame this
It’s nothing but lies.

The dust has been settled
The cloud of black smoke
Has forced me to realize
There’s simply no hope.

Don’t think you can spin this
Don’t even try
I’m telling you now
This is…. goodbye.

They put me in handcuffs
They walked me outside
We both know the reason
We both know you lied.

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I begged you to stop
I couldn’t say no
I urged you, I pleaded
I told you to go.

My heart began pounding
Ignited, enflamed
Once in the moment
Unbridled, untamed.

Consumed with desire
Over come with emotion
A bitter sweet taste
A salty, rich potion.

Now out of control
Too hot, way too much
My heart is on fire
It’s more than a crush.

No stopping the motion
The rhythm, the lust
There on the brink
Too much….not enough.

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Photo from Google Images: 123rf.com

Thrown under the bus
Displaced, out of view
Left holding the bag
Now forgotten, confused.

You washed your hands
Now free of me
Relinquished, expelled
So ingeniously.

Easily dumped
Dropped off and forsaken
Just a mistake
You were sorry for making.

Discarded, abandoned
You walked away
No parting words
Nothing more left to say.

My eyes filled with tears
A lump in my throat
No second thoughts
You reached for your coat.

So easy for you
You simply moved on
Never looked back
You left, you were gone.

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Photo from Google Images: dougdickerson.net

I’m not coming back
Ain’t gonna happen
Getting my stuff
Already done packing.

Taking it all
Won’t change my mind
Nothing you say
Gonna stop me this time.

Found you a girl
Better than me… good!
She’ll make your breakfast
She’ll brew your tea.

Hope that she listens
And doesn’t talk back
When you’re in a rage
And, she’s under attack.

Somebody to blame
To boss and control
Someone to cower
And, do what she’s  told.

A chronic abuser
A bully, a scold
So cruel and vindictive
So heartless, so cold.

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In the end, you cut me off
Then blamed it  all on me
That’s your M.O. …. cold as ice
As cruel as you can be.

It’s not enough to make me cry
You mix fire with gasoline
No way that I could make you stop
You want to hear me scream.

Trying hard to satisfy
But, there’s  no pleasing you
One remark too many
And, who knows what you might do.

Walking through a mine field
I’ve got to watch my step
The slightest provocation
Ends in punishment, regret.

Why the need to hurt me
The heartless condemnation
Needing to feel above me
The need for validation?

You shut me down,  you silence me
Close off your heart and mind
Like sand inside the hour glass
We’re running out of time.

Shutting off from family
There’s no getting through to you
You’ve built a wall between us
There’s nothing I can do.

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