Decades of heartache
You’d think it  would pass
The memories linger 
Unbridled … amassed. 

Nothing dissuades 
The image of you
I’m haunted and plagued
Nothing much I can do.

I try to keep busy
Don’t dwell on the past
No reference to moments
That just didn’t last.

Music and photos 
Avoided, ignored
Kept in  a box 
Protected and stored.

Kept private …. kept secret
This pain in my heart
There in my dresser
There…. in the dark.

___________________________

Photo from Google Images: thatsweetgift.com

I don’t belong here
No, not with you
Need to move on 
What can I do? 

All of the shaming
All of the guilt
I’ve had enough of
I’ve had my fill.

All of the anger
All of the fits
The outburst of rage
I’m so tired of it.

The drinking … the bashing
The bullying … the laughing.
Nothing worth having
As long as I am with you.

Time to get hold of
My pride and my soul
You’re not getting better
You’re just getting old.

Your life goal…. a cold beer
Some wings and a nap
Won’t wait for your encore
No reason to clap.

I don’t belong here
No, not with you
I need to move on 
I’m leaving you.

_____________________

Photo by Google Images: markallansmusings.blog

Always looking at your phone
Can’t  believe you left … you’re gone
All the random calls and texts
No surprise … I was up next.

I’m not the first …. you bragged a lot
Said you’d never tie the knot
Left me sitting here alone
Cold and naked to the bone.

Should have known it from the start
You’d run around …. you’d break my heart
You told me how … you drove them crazy
Always Gucci  with the ladies.

What a player … what a scam
What a fool I was … I am
But in the end …. it was your loss
You are the worst… I’ve come across.

Never meant the things you said
Things to get me into bed
What a fool … believing you
All the things you had me do.

Feeling sick, ashamed, embarrassed
Sitting here out on the terrace
All the scamming …. all the lying
You’ve left me sad …. alone and crying.

Hope karma finds its way to you
That you’ll get yours … Lord knows you’re due
Hope I’m around …. when it’s your turn
To watch you crash …. to watch you burn.

__________________________

Photo from Google Images: sound-ideas.com

Don’t ask me to forgive you
Don’t come to me this way
Get off your knees … don’t look to me
I have nothing to say.

You were so cold and selfish
It was always about you
What could you possibly expect from me
Or think I’m going to do?

I moved on….it took years
Years of agony and pain
I was so in love with you
But I will never be again.

I have someone who truly cares
She’s been there for me
It took all that I had inside
To finally be set  free.

Take your guilt and move on
You’ll find no pity here
I can’t stand the sight of you
Let me make that clear.

When someone shows you who they are
As the saying goes… believe them
Now you know how it feels
You can spend a lifetime … grieving . 

Life is short, brief at best
You have a lot to learn
Unfortunately for you…. my friend
You’re up …. it’s now your turn.

___________________________

Photo from Google Images: boldomatic.com

I lie awake
Can’t fall sleep
Thoughts of you
Leave me weak.

Can’t escape
Can’t run , can’t hide
So much regret
I’m paralyzed.

How could I be
So cold, so cruel?
Now plagued with memories
And thoughts of you.

When I left
You wept, you cried
I led you on
I told you lies.

I didn’t know
Just what to do
I was mixed up
I was confused.

Now those feelings
Of loss and regret
Are haunting me daily
I can’t forget.

Forgive me … please
For hurting you
I’m sorry for what
I put you through.

Photo from Google Images: truelovewords.com

When you look into the mirror
Whose reflection do you see?
Double check those double standards
Cause you look a lot like me.

Always spouting off the orders 
Passing  judgement, sentencing
So sure you have the answers
But, your tone is threatening. 

Obsessed with your appearance
Selective and judgmental
Arrogant and pompous 
So touchy and temperamental.

Feeling threatened and defensive
Hanging just over the ledge
So sure that what you’re wearing
Will give you a razor’s edge.

Don’t be so quick to criticize
Please open up your mind
Your focus on your image
Is consuming all your time.

Calm down try to remember
You were once less sensible
Your hair was long and curly
And you weren’t so miserable.

_________________________

Photo from Google Images: 123rf.com

 

Where have you been?
I HAD TO WORK LATE
I made you dinner
DIDN’T WANT YOU TO WAIT.

Why don’t you tell me?
HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?
It’s hardly a secret
You don’t answer your phone.

Where did you meet her?
At work, at a  bar?
I want the apartment.
FINE, I WANT THE CAR.

How did this happen?
Thought we were in love
I WANTED MORE
I wasn’t enough?

My heart is broken
It’s broken in two 
I thought that you loved me
The way I love you.

I can’t live without you
YOU’LL BE OKAY
No, please reconsider
Don’t leave, please….please stay.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE NOT HAPPY
YOU’RE NOT HAPPY WITH ME
YOU ‘LL BE BETTER  OFF 
JUST WAIT AND YOU’LL SEE.

How did this happen?
WE DRIFTED APART
THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPEN 
But, you broke my heart!

My heart is broken
It’s broken in two 
Please tell me you love me
The way I love  you.

___________________________

Photo from Google Images: painting valley.com

Out of a notion
A prayer, nothing more
There you appeared
You stood at the door.

Perhaps an illusion
Perhaps a dream
Sent down from the heavens
Upon a moonbeam.

The magic, the shimmer
The look in your eyes
Overwhelmed with delight
I started to cry.

A hand full of tokens
Some vapor and mist
A hope meant to conjure
A miracle, a wish.

I knew that you’d come
I waited, I knew
I knew it would happen
I knew I’d see you.

As I imagined
A vision of light
I hoped and I prayed
With all of my might.

Got to tell you I loved you
Got to tell told you I cared
I wasn’t afraid
I was happy, not scared.

You didn’t stay long
But, a minute or two
I was grateful, so happy
To spent time with you.

_________________________

Image: Google Images. Badon Hill Studio.

Poem Revised…. 1 /12/2024

_______________________

Photo by : Badon Hill Studio

https://www.shutterstock.com/image-illustration/hand-holding-magic-wand-on-dark-39336670

Stranded, forgotten
There…left for dead.
Wondering what happened
So easily misled.

Ripe for affection
Young and naive
Beguiled by a charmer
What’s that up her sleeve?

Led to the garden
Overcome and consumed
Constant affection
So carefully groomed.

The wanting, the craving
Like nothing before
A captive , a prisoner
Begging for more.

Abruptly, no warning
The wind from your sails
You’re flailing …uncertain
Your train’s been derailed.

The costumes, the makeup
The perfume, the mask
Who knew we were playing
You saved me for last.

______________________

Photo from Google Images: hollywoodreporter.com

What was I thinking?
That first night we met?
My biggest mistake
I’ll never forget.

The passion…the lust
The nights in your bed
The sex….all the trust
All the things that you said.

What was I thinking?
You wanted to know
Once you got bored
It was time….yeah, to go.

You pushed me aside
The fall almost fatal
I didn’t know
That you were unstable.

Nothing like this
Ever happened before
Who knew you would show me
Show me….to the door?

What was I thinking?
That first night we met
My biggest mistake
My biggest regret.

_______________________

Photo from Google Images: terrycane.blogspot.com